18 Reasons Why College Football is Better Than the NFL

As the 2014–15 College Football season officially kicks off Thursday with Texas A&M visiting South Carolina, I’m overjoyed with the unbridled enthusiasm and youthful exuberance of an 18-year old kid. In that spirit, here’s 18 reasons why College kicks the NFL’s ass on Saturday and every day in between…

1. Cheerleaders — Sure the NFL has the iconic Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, the Mons Venus quality Tampa Bay Swashbucklers and the former Denver Broncos Playboy posing Pony Express, but nearly 20% of the League has exactly ZERO pom poms shaking on their sidelines. 6 out of 32 Teams in the NFL do not do the hokey pokey! (The Lions, Packers, Steelers, Browns, Packers, Bears and Giants are too classy for such ornery.) Whereas, EVERY team in College has cheerleaders — that’s more than 800 schools with beautiful smiling young ladies (and men) to excite…I mean, cheer us on! …..Long live the USC Song Girls.
2. PLAYOFFS?! — Yes, the NFL has had an expanded playoff system in place for years, and only this year is College finally joining the party — but let’s be real here, the opening weekend of the NFL Playoffs (Wild Card Weekend) is a dud. And this being the first year of College’s Football Final Four — well, fans have long been licking their chops for this. Oh — the new playoff also gave ESPN an excuse to bring back Rudy to deliver the news.
3. DEATH VALLEY, THE SWAMP, THE HORSESHOE, THE BIG HOUSE, THE ROSE BOWL, HAPPY VALLEY — College Football plays their games in stadiums with cool nicknames or in places named after cool people. The NFL plays its games in homes bought and paid for by corporations.
4. And speaking of names — College has/had The Mad Hatter, The Head Ball Coach, Nick Satan, The Bear, Saint Bobby, Joe Pa, The Fighting Irish, Cocks, Beavers, Badgers and a Honey Badger.
5. College Football — where Tim Tebow is still beloved by all.
6. The Heisman Trophy.
7. ALL GAMES are decided by WINS AND LOSSES, never a Tie. The NFL spends billions on their game, yet they can’t seem to figure out how to avoid playing a professionally competitive American sport to a draw. Even Hockey finally got it right, why can’t the NFL?
8. Scattered kick-off times. Saturday, when the bulk of games are still played in College, Kick off is at Noon, 1, 2:30, 3:30, 4, 6, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8 and pretty much whenever they want it to be— ensuring you, the fan, can watch all day without missing a play. The NFL seems to think it better serves its fans by primarily scheduling all games at the same time (either at 1pm or 4pm) on a Sunday. Never made sense to me why the NFL doesn’t stagger its kickoffs on Gameday.
9. TRADITIONS — The Chomp (Florida Gators), The Chop (Florida State College for Women), The 12th Man and Midnight Yell Practice(Texas A&M), Big Red (Nebraska), Boomer Sooner and Sooner Schooner (Oklahoma), Hook ‘em Horns (Texas), The Dotting of the “I” (Ohio State), The Grove (Ole Miss), Checkerboard Endzones (Tennessee), Blue Turf (Boise State), The QuackCave (Oregon Social Media Room), Touching Testudo’s Nose (Maryland), Touching Howard’s Rock (Clemson), Play Like A Champion (Notre Dame), The Beer Song (Wyoming), The 8-clap Cheer (UCLA), Fight On (USC), Singing of ‘We are the Boys from Old Florida’ (Florida — at the end of 3rd QTR), House of Pain’s “Jump Around” (Wisconsin — at the end of 3rd QTR), The Sod Cemetery (Florida State), Beer Barrel Polka (Wisconsin’s 5th Quarter), Cockaboose Railroad (South Carolina), White Outs and Black Outs (Various schools), Yelling school colors across the stadium in a call and response like “Orange! Blue!” (Florida), Waving the Weat (Kansas), The Vol Navy (Tennessee), Toomer’s Corner (Auburn), The pre-game walk (Alabama’s “Walk of Champions,” Georgia’s “Dawg Walk,” LSU’s “Walk Down Victory Hill,” Tennessee’s “Vol Walk,” Army’s “Black Knight Walk” and Georgia Tech’s “Walk Down Yellow Jacket Alley”), The Swarm (Iowa entrance), The Planting of the Flaming Spear (FSU), “Rocky Top” (Tennessee), The Haka (Hawaii), Cowbells (Mississippi State), “Woo, Pig Sooie!” (Arkansas), “Roll Tide” and “Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer, give ‘em hell, Alabama!” (Alabama), “Go Cocks!” (South Carolina), “Go Beavers!” (Oregon State), “Go Gators!” (Florida), “Go Blue” (Michigan) and “War Eagle!” (Auburn).
10. MASCOTS (People, Animals, Vehicles and Costumed Characters) — Tommy Trojan and Traveler (USC — Roman clad warrior on a white horse), Bill the Goat (Navy — a goat), Ralphie (Colorado — a 500 lb Buffalo), Ugga (Georgia — a bulldog), A Leprecaun (Notre Dame — a person), Pistol Pete (Oklahoma State — a person), Albert the Alligator (Florida — costume), Smokey (Tennessee — a bluetick coonhound), The Mountaineer (West Virginia — person), Handsome Dan (Yale — bulldog) Bevo (Texas — Longhorn steer), The Masked Rider (Texas Tech — a person), Mike the Tiger (LSU — Siberian-Bengal tiger), Ramblin’ Wreck (Georgia Tech — a golden 1930 Model A Ford Sport Coupe), Touchdown Jesus (Notre Dame — a Mural of the Holy Father), Chief Osceola and his horse Renegade (FSU).
11. RIVALRY GAMES — The Civil War (Oregon v Oregon State), The Governor’s Cup Trophy (Kentucky v Louisville), The Border War (Colorado State v Wyoming), The Apple Cup (Washington v Washington State), The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (Florida v Georgia), The Golden Boot (Arkansas v LSU), The Thompson Cup (Army v Navy), The Stanford Axe (Cal v Stanford), The Old Wagon Wheel (BYU v Utah State), The Bedlam Bell (Oklahoma v Oklahoma State), The Keg of Nails (Cincinnati v Louisville), Clean Old-Fashioned Hate (Georgia v Georgia Tech), The Old Oaken Bucket (Purdue v Indiana), The Holy War (Boston College v Notre Dame), The Heartland Trophy (Wisconsin v Iowa), The Little Brown Jug (Minnesota v Michigan), Paul Bunyan’s Axe (Minnesota v Wisconsin), Red River Rivalry at the Texas State Fair (Oklahoma v Texas), Commonwealth Cup (Virginia v Virginia Tech), Victory Bell (UCLA v USC), The Iron Bowl (Auburn v Alabama), Florida v Florida State, Michigan v Ohio State, Florida State v Miami and Harvard v Yale.
12. Marching Bands.
13. College Football fills a 90,000+ seat stadium — the NFL cannot, unless said stadium is hosting a college game.
14. LOYALTY & PRIDE — You’re a college football fan because you went to school there. You’re an NFL fan because you play Fantasy Football.
15. Tailgating ON CAMPUS
16. Mr. 2-Bits
17. HISTORY — College Football’s been around since the 1800's! The NFL formed in 1920.
18. Whoa, Nellie!